Ego Integrity vs. Despair:
Well if you Want to Sing out, Sing out, and if you Want to be Free, be Free
“I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They're so tall and simple.” The character Maude from the movie Harold and Maude declared those words at the age of almost eighty. Maude is a high-spirited, life-loving, inhibition lacking wonderment. So does Maude have Ego Integrity or Despair and why would we as a society ask that question? The answer is because of a man named Erikson. Erik Homberger was ridden with conflict as a young child when his father walked out on him and his mother. Throughout Erik’s life, the question of identity overtook him, leading to his Theory of conflict stages of development. When, Erik Hamburger came to the
The most appealing theory I find to be Erik Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development. Though I respect methods like Piaget’s and Freud’s, I find that I most relate to Erikson. The universal stages make it easier to figure out where people are coming from. When I am interacting with people it is easier to understand them and help them with their problems if I know the stage they are fixated on. My friend Melissa constantly calls and asks for advice about relationships, and I answer knowing that by the way she is reasoning and interacting with me, that she is still in the Identity versus Role Confusion stage. And knowing that Melissa is trying to move away from family control and being her own person in the relationship that she is in, I can figure out what advice will aid her most in her journey. I find Erikson’s Stages helpful in figuring out that I am not alone in these conflicts. I don’t always agree that the ages are right for each stage, but I do find the order that they progress in to be accurate.
The first stage in Erikson’s theory is Trust vs. Mistrust. This stage is from birth to about one and a half years old and the major question asked at this stage is, “can I count on others?” The major event at this stage is feeding. The outcome depends on the quality of maternal care. Can mom be trusted to provide consistent, adequate, and nurturing care? The basic strength is hope and the basic weakness is dependency or paranoia.
The second stage is Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt. This second stage is from one and a half to about three years old and the main question asked at this stage is, “can I act independently?” The major event at this stage is toilet training. Can a child display assertiveness and self-control while maintaining self-esteem? The basic strength is will/choice and the basic weakness is obsessive/compulsive or avoidant. The result is exercise of both free choice and self-restraint.
Incorporated with this stage is the “terrible twos.” The age is coined this because during these years, a child will try to display independence from their parentals by opposing authority to see how far their independent actions can get them…the word “no” is usually a key term in the child’s vocabulary. They want to know how mom and/or dad will react if I say I won’t eat my peas, or share my toys with my sister, or like eating worms. They are basically testing the waters to see how much they can get away with.
Then stage three is Initiative vs. Guilt. This stage ranges from about three to six years old. The key question asked at this stage is, “am I a good or bad person?” The major even at this stage is independence. Can the child generate their own ideas within societal bounds? The basic strength is purpose and the basic weakness is constricted or antisocial/narcissistic.
This is the age of Preschool and first grade when socialization occurs between peers. During this stage, children look to others to figure out if they are a good or bad person. It is crucial for parents to separate the “I hate you”s from the “I hate your actions.” A child of 3 to 6 does not understand that when they set the kitchen on fire because you took away their Malibu Barbie with triplets, that the parent doesn’t necessarily hate you…they just don’t care for your actions.
Next, stage four of Erikson’s model is Industry vs. Inferiority. This stage ranges from six to twelve years of age. The central question asked at this stage is “am I worthy or successful?” The major event at this stage is school. Can the child learn what he/she needs to enable him or her to make it as an adult in society? Can the child learn to collaborate with others? The result is competency vs. helplessness or shallowness.
Socialization is even extra critical at this stage. Can the child work in groups and be mature enough to take others’ ideas into consideration? When this child is an adult, will they have the necessary social/teamwork skills to cut it in the workforce?
After that, Erikson’s fifth stage is Identity vs. Role Confusion. This stage is during adolescence and encompasses ages twelve through eighteen. The most important question asked at this stage is “who am I?” The major event at this stage is peer relationships. This encompasses the middle school, high school, and even college years where one is trying to figure out where there niche is. What type of person are they? Even though their parents believe in abortion…do they? What do they want as a career? Do they believe in God…do they want to use that to attach labels to themselves as religious or atheist?
Next comes stage six which is Intimacy vs. Isolation. This stage ranges from 18 to about 30 years of age and the most pertinent question asked at this stage is, “do I want a life partner?” The major even at this stage is love relationships. During this period people consider if they want to get married. Do they want the life of husband and wife, the his-and-hers-towels-route or are they content living single. This is the stage I am currently in figuring out if I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend of two years Daniel or live a single bachelorette life that is career oriented.
My next stage will be Erikson’s seventh stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. This stage runs through middle adulthood around ages 40 to 65. The main question asked at this stage is, “what contributions am I making for future generations?” The major event at this stage is parenting. This is the stage where parents decide if they want to contribute to future generations by producing offspring. They question how has their existence bettered the lives of others?
Then is the eighth stage of Ego Integrity vs. Despair which runs through late adulthood from about ages sixty-five to death. The last question asked is “do I have any regrets?” The major event at this stage is reflection on and acceptance of one’s life.
A great movie that illustrates this stage is Harold and Maude. Maude is this eighty-year-old woman who falls in love with a teenager. Clearly Maude has Ego Integrity as she reaches the end of her life…not regretting any decisions she made or experiences she took part in, or the lifestyle she had! It is a great feel-good comedy shrouded in social taboos and the theme of death and sex.
Each stage deals with a conflict, and the conflicts continue from birth extending until death. From Erikson’s own identity crisis, he constructed a universal model of developmental conflicts. Although Erikson died, Abraham Maslow later used Erikson’s stages in his meta-theory Hierarchy of Needs.
