Finding Mr. Right

Finding Mr. Right

Jessica Marie

Four years, seven months, and twenty seven days ago I met Kevin. The past few years have been sprinkled with yellow flowers sent to my apartment, surprise phone calls just to let me know he was thinking about me, and someone who enjoys going to the movies as much as I do. It was so nice to find a guy who I could finally be myself around. I could take him shopping and if something really did make my butt look too big, he would be the first to let me know. I could count on him to take me to restaurants I loved, even though he wasn’t too keen on the whole sea-food-thing. I’ve kissed guys before, but he was the first guy I really kissed. I could see myself growing old with him and buying a lot of cats because let’s face it…old people like cats. I never thought that I would find Mr. Right…We finally set the date to be joined together until death do us part. Call us cliché, but we chose Valentine’s Day of this year. We spent hours and sometimes days on intricate details to make our day perfect from the cake, to the dinner, to the reception hall. But of all the decisions we made, the greatest thrill was the invitations…we finally saw our names side by side ready to be mailed out to tell our friends and family the news of announcement. The invitations read:

Please join us in celebrating the union of

Kevin & Daniel

February 14, 2006

According to Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives, over 50% of Americans oppose gay marriages even though ¾ are otherwise supportive of gay rights. This means that many of the same people who are even passionately in favor of gay rights oppose homosexuals on the marriage issue.

So why do so many people have such bipolar tendencies when it comes to the topic of gay rights verses gay marriage? It is because homosexuals are stereotyped as promiscuous, bath- house frequenters incapable of forming long-term relationships…and supposedly the relationships that they do form are one-dimensional and casual. And I am here to agree that yes, gays do have one night stands, engage in intercourse that means absolutely nothing except raw passionate lust; but the crucial detail to point out is that heterosexuals do too. Homosexuals and heterosexuals after the superficial teen-age relationships dissipate, committed, life-long partners fill the lives of the once flavor-of-the-month mates.

Other arguments that are typical from the anti-gay marriage brigade, according to gay marriage activist Scott Bidstrup, include: “Marriage is an establishment between a man and a woman!” “Same-sex marriages are not a proper environment to raise children!” “Gay relations are immoral!” “Marriage is for the purposes of reproducing!” While these seem to be logical rationalizations, the blatant preconceived notions are false.

“Marriage is an establishment between a man and a woman,” and “gay relations are immoral”? Who came to that brilliant conclusion? The Bible? God? Jesus Christ himself? Scott Bidstrup states “In America there is freedom of religion…doesn’t that mean that there is also freedom from religion?” Not everyone in America is Christian or Jewish or believes in a supreme being…if there is supposed to be a separation between church and state why does the one dollar bill say “In God We Trust?” It is because there is no separation. Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives shows this injustice through the circumstances of Buddhism; “Not all world religions have a problem with homosexuality; many sects of Buddhism, for example, celebrate gay relationships freely and would like to have authority to make them legal marriages.” In a sense their religious freedom is being neglected by us denying them the right to a marriage. In regards to same-sex marriages, we allow drunks, felons, single parents, the poor who can’t afford to raise their children properly, and even known pedophiles to birth children into this world. A same-sex marriage is two loving partners of the same gender adopting a child into a loving financially stable home to care for, and nurture, and to raise their children as competent open- minded individuals given the same love as any heterosexual household. And finally, not all marriages are for the purpose of reproducing offspring. Should the sterile and infertile not be allowed to marry?

As of now, Massachusetts is the only state to allow gay marriages under the condition that both partners live in Massachusetts. Now, what is so crucial to the legalization of gay marriage? According to the Alternatives to Marriage Project, 75% of companies don’t give benefits to same-sex couples. This means, if one partner decides to be a stay-at-home mom or dad while the other provides for the family, the stay-at-home mom or dad is not covered be the partner’s insurance.

Some homosexuals are considered social pariahs from other family members due to their sexual orientation and unless one is a legal spouse, upon your partner’s death, one would not be able to have any say in the final preparations that were probably discussed while in that relationship. Partners have no say in leaving their partner on or taking their partner off life support or final arrangements like burial or cremation…and if a life-partner is injured and taken to a hospital there are some cases where they would not be able to get medically informed.

Daniel and Kevin were surrounded by friends and family on the afternoon of February 14^th, 2006. Yellow roses were used as the boutonnières, Kevin’s niece Kimberly was the flower girl, and the honeymoon was spent in Paris. They adopted their first child Madison in August and she is to start Kindergarten in a few weeks. In the end, both Daniel and Kevin…found Mr. Right.